I remember receiving the news that I would have a roommate my last semester at school. A few weeks prior to having a roommate I was feeling kind of salty about having to room with someone because I requested a single months prior. It was my last semester, and I just wanted time to focus on my assignments and me.
So, housing informed me I will be rooming with someone. I accepted the news, and set up a strategic plan. The plan was to beg housing to find me a single room until one magically appeared... that never happened... This turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I was aware that my roommate was a few years younger than me, in my head I already had a preconceived notion. I assumed because I was older than my roommate I would have to set out rules and boundaries, the whole nine yards. That was never the case.
A few weeks went by, personally I had a difficult time adapting because I was used to having a room to myself. I can admit, I used to be the ultimate introvert. All I wanted was time for myself. It required me exerting a ton of energy to be around people all throughout the day. My roommate was the exact opposite of me, she's outgoing, boisterous, extrovert, wears her heart on her sleeve, sweet, loving etc. She externalizes everything while I internalize everything. For about a month I was intentionally trying to keep my guards up with her because I didn't want to risk opening myself up for disappointment or start to develop a friendship knowing I was graduating in a few weeks. It was getting more and more complicated to keep my guards up the more she expressed kindness, her kind heart gradually made the guards around my heart wither.
Throughout this experience of having a roommate made me come to the conclusion, I needed an adjustment of the heart. Its funny because I thought I was going to be the one to influence her, guide her, give advice etc. The truth is, she influenced me, in the most positive way. Not only did she show genuine care but she willingly put others before herself. This made me question if having my guard up was helpful or hurtful.
My roommate was one of many reasons why I had a change of the alignment of my heart. Having someone who willingly takes time out their day to check on you and ask if you need anything truly melts fears and insecurities away.
Dear God: Thankyou for blessing me with a roommate who showed me its ok to love others with an open heart. Thankyou for showing me that your way is better than mine. God I am grateful that you willingly give second chances daily to start fresh, to know you more, and experience your divine love.
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